Friday, August 25, 2006

Posidelphia (or Things Paulomon Thankful For)

Despite my general negativity about our trophy-less, yet beloved, Birds, I'm putting out some positive vibes now that the end of pre-season is in sight. It's an early Thanksgiving for Grundy [mmmmm], and here is a list of Things Eagle for which I am thankful:

1) I'm back. I'm happy finally to be back in the City of Brotherly Love from a horrible stint in Redskins country...ok, I'm in a suburb of Philly, but nonetheless I'm being inundated with Eagles regalia wherever I go: Birds' tattoos, 1 year-olds with Eagles bibs, guys in Fraley jerseys who call me "Buddy", local chicks with "Philly" faces like our cheerleader Gina in the upper right corner, etc. So much attitude here; I love it. This is a football town and everybody is always talking Eagles (actually, one problem with where I live though - north of Philly - it's dangerously closer to NYC so there are a LOT of obnoxious BlueMenGroupies running around here - Philly may be blue collar but generally they're good people - Giants Fans are just f*ckers and would leave you lying dead in the street if it meant that they would miss a green light).

2) Last year is over. The Birds suffered through a terrible season and all the long-time Haters like Salisbury and Hairpiece Hoge ate it up. They were FINALLY right, after 5 years of predcting the Birds' demise. Wow, what great analysts. But now, with TO gone, McNabb healthy, tons of great young talent on staff, we're ready for a solid'll be sort of a re-building year, but we're ready. And Brad Childress is gone - I know, he's head coach material right? wrong. Same broke-ass plays, year in, year out....Question: We have one of the best if not THE best running QBs in football - why don't we have at least 1 or 2 DESIGNED runs for him each game? or how about 1 per game?? Keep the D honest. Let McNabb naked bootleg once in a while - no one would even expect it in a lot of key situations. Whatever, I'm lecturing to deaf ears, I know. Let's force McNabb to be a pocket passer no matter how much it hurts...BECAUSE IT'S NORMAL DAMMMIT, IT'S NORMAL! Or let's just send Westbrook up the middle again and then throw 10 times in a row to fully-covered WRs...good strategy Brad, real, sorry, I'm slipping to negative again.

3) I have season tickets, and good ones too! Section 136, Row 25 on the Birds side. Although I'm splitting them with a couple of my boys, I'm going to be living the dream ...or nightmare depending on how the season goes. In any case, I can wear my Dawkins jersey in public now, instead of the basement of Jdubs's broken down townhouse in Tysons Corner, VA. AND, I can throw rotten food at the Birds if they start stinking up the joint again..or maybe permanently injure Reno Mahe, or as an alternative Spadaro, and end our suffering forever. muhuhaha...MUHUHAHAHAAHAAAAaaaa..

4) Shawn Andrews. He's gonna COMETHEFUCKON this year. Man, this guy is the sh*t. Hell, forget the asterisk, he's the shit...yeh, the SHIT. As Joe pointed out in the Raiders preseason game, he's blocking 3 people at once. Pro Bowl.

5) Our D-Line. What an improvement over last year. Bunkley deserves his own item number for things for which I'm thankful, but I need to see him eat some people alive this year which he will do...all in good time my friends. "Bunkley" - what a great name to scream at the TV.

6) Duuuuuuuce. Alright, this doesn't count, but I just miss saying that. Talk of him being cut from Pittsburg excites me. Doesn't anyone else want him? What's wrong with you people? Don't you remember those tough yards he got, 4 guys piled on his back trying to cut his tree-trunk legs out? I really really really [deep breath] really really really (x infinity) want him back.

7) Invincible opened this weekend. Nice. My sister went to highschool with Vince's son, Skip Papale. Good peeps.

8) Pinkston is limping/Detmer is ready for a bath. First, our "most experienced" WR as he's been dubbed by Big Red and others is still sorta limping around which is great news for me. He's the last bag of trash from our win-less NFC Championship streak that needs to be taken to Jersey, Delaware or wherever Philly dumps its trash. As Jdubs and Popstar know, it's my contention that our atrocious receiving corps is THE reason we didn't come away with at least one SB trophy from our last run. When FredEx got cut, things were looking up and I thought our management got smart finally (funny, FredEx still hasn't found work...interesting how we keep people that NO other team would even want, as a back up???!!). Also, it's finally clear that Detmer is on his way out...thank you thank you thank you...Jimmy Chang is running rings around you, Koy! Shave please, shave...and take a bath...and get a new car..and take Pinky with you on a long long drive and never ever come back and....oh wait, this was supposed to be a positive piece...sorry...GO Birds.

BTW, a couple things I'd like to be thankful for but can't be are:
**An improved return game - I was really hoping to see Jeremy Bloom do his thing but we're stuck with Dexter Wynn who will fumble and Reno who will run around alot and move his tiny, tiny stubby little legs and get nowhere;
**A thinner McNabb. I know he's muscular and all,but I'd like to see him at about 225 or 230 where he came into the league. It's the chunky soup man...


Post a Comment

<< Home